I have many roles in my life, but today the role that affects me the most is cancer patient and dealing with the fact that I have cancer. The good news is that I am a surviving cancer. I have been fighting GCT cancer since 2004 and I feel blessed that I am still here to write about it especially since I lost my own mother to lung and breast cancer on May 14, 2008.
Seeing firsthand what cancer and its treatments can do to a person is enough in itself to make anyone run for the hills. It is scary.
When my husband and I decided to start a family, I ran into problems regulating my cycle and conceiving which led me to a fertility specialist. After charging down the road of preparing for treatments, I found out I had a bigger problem unbeknownst to me -- it was called cancer.
My ovary was the size of a brick (literally, I still have a 3-d model of the dimensions from my original sonogram). I had no real symptoms except excessive trips to the rest room because the displacement was putting pressure on my bladder. My fertility doctor sent me to an oncologist. After a number of examines and tests, an exploratory surgery was scheduled to see what was going on with my ovary. The pathology revealed I had granulosa cell tumor, a rare ovarian cancer – a cancer that is germane to white, post menopausal women. I am neither.
I have had many surgeries in my life most of them lately have been to treat my cancer.
Feb ‘88 – Appendicitis
April ’03 – Fibroid removed
Nov ’04 – ovary removed and discovery of GCT
Nov ’05 – C-section & exploratory after birth of son
Nov ’06 – miscarriage (natural)
Apr ’07 – GCT reoccurrence – surgery removal
Oct ’07 – miscarriage - DNC
Mar ’08 – GCT reoccurrence – surgery removal
Oct ’08 – GCT reoccurrence – hysterectomy
I learned this week that I'm to undergo chemo treatments as an aggressive attempt to really get me cancer-free. I hope it works.
I know I have a fight ahead of me. While it is very serious, it pales in comparison to the fight my mother had. When she was diagnosed, she was already Stage IV. Despite the uphill battle, she fought a serious fight until she couldn't.
I am anxious about the unknowns associated with my future and my lifespan, and it all stems from this thing called cancer. I am a believer and have the faith that what’s going to be is going to be and worrying solves few problems. I just keep trying to remind myself of this. It is quite easy to remember when I look at my three year old son. I shutter at the thought of ever leaving this child. At 40 years old, it was difficult handling the loss of my own mother.
